And what is that dark shadow I
can see outside the door of my bedroom? Who is that man that hides himself
inside the mirror that is in front of me? I am not that image I am seeing in
the mirror, I am not! Oh, I am not that madman that people are talking about, I
am not! I am only a simple white shadow that cannot look at my dark face that
is smiling about myself, that is about me as always it is. Yes, I accept that I
am, yes I am, only an poor old man that is eight hundred years now, and, I also
accept that my thoughts are flying over the waves of my own not unhidden sea… I
am not a wolf of the sea like my father was, I could not have been it at all
because he wished for me a different destiny, and I am different, but I am just
what he was.... Alas! I have lived so long time in this life that is not mine
but my other one's life that is myself... Now I am thinking of the birds I saw
flying over my childhood beach, and I am seeing them though I am far away from
all beaches I know -or do not know- because I am forever just a dreamer, don't you
know this perhaps…? Oh! I am feeling very blue because of this close persons
who are at my side and are speaking Chinese, I don't know why... maybe because
they are Chinese…? Oh! She is talking loud and my head is bothering me so much.
She is leaving her place now. The world is calmed again for me... People are
moving from this place to another place far away from here, it is annoying! I
need to see nothing, but I cannot close my eyes. I do not want to see these
people... Ah! I can close my eyes now, I can…! I am listening someone speaking
upon paradise, what kind of paradise…? She says we need to make good face to
life, why? Well, I agree… but I do not know where her paradise is... I need to
rest. I want to be in the one thousand mirrors room, and I wish to see my face
infinitely multiplied on many little shiny stars inside the mirrors. I need, oh
I badly need, to imagine my life afterlife. I am going to... I am crazy now! I
am locked in my own thoughts! I want to get out of here right now! Oh, all you
inexistent people that are not speaking with me, please leave me alone, I need
to get peace in my life. Better I go to hell, I will have peace there, maybe I
will… yes it could be better than this life of mine... Jajaja jajaja.
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